Not that I’m not comfortable in my own skin, but I kinda wish I was Slash. You know, it’s one thing to be smart or good looking or athletic (if you really give a shit about that sort of stuff), but there’s something about being able to do something really fucking cool, like wayyyyy better than everybody else. The shitty thing is, you can only get that way by dropping out of school when your 11 and doing nothing but eat, sleep and shit that thing that you want to become The Best at. This frizzy haired alcoholic smokes more than me and epitomizes all that is rock n’ roll about rock n’ roll, while also serving as a symbol for why most of what we hear on the radio these days is complete fucking garbage. I’d like to see the kid from Fagout Boy (or whatever their name is) play like this. Also, he’s one of a hand-full of 80s rockers that has put out a book.

This entry marks the first of many thought provoking articles you can expect to see on RazorThread. Who says blogs have to be about timely, newsworthy shit? I mean that stuff’s cool, the latest celebrity mishaps and whatever, but I started this site to share with you all the things that I think are cool regardless of whether or not its “old news”. I’ll still put up some of that other junk too, but here’s something you can sink your teeth into…

Here’s the top ten movies that make you want to do drugs, in no particular order…

1: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

A shiny red convertible, a suitcase full of hardcore narcotics and Las Vegas – what more do you need for a “trip” through the desert to the city of sin? Well, throw in two junkies in Acapulco shirts played by Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro, a series of questionable characters and voila; a masterpiece adaptation of a classic American tale!

2: Pulp Fiction

Forget about the fact that it’s probably one of the coolest films to grace the silver screen, this flick has a way of making you want to call up your friendly neighbourhood smack dealer, pick up $300 worth of Choco from the Hartz Mountains of Germany, stick a needle in your arm and veg out to Dick Dale and the Del Tones like you’re Vincent Fucking Vega.

3: Requiem for a Dream

Now before you spaz-out, give me a second to explain…You’re right. It’s sketchy and dingy and rotted and grim, but don’t tell me that the first time they did that killer montage of preparing their junk it didn’t make you want to blast rails and shoot up at the same time. Watch this clip, but pay no attention to the gangrenous track mark on Jared Leto’s arm. That shit only happens in the movies.

4: Dazed and Confused

“I love those high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” This one came out when I was in the eighth grade, which was kind of shitty because it gave me a really warped idea of what high school was going to be like. I was expecting to spend the next four years smoking joints, skipping class, hanging out, and drinking beer. Instead I…wait, that was what high school was like. Never mind. Great fucking movie.

5: The Doors

Listening to their music makes you want to get loaded, but watching the movie and seeing how mind altering substances were at the heart of the great American poet Jim Morrison’s creativity, fuck man – it makes you wonder how much potential you might have, if you didn’t give a shit about anything. Side note: Val Kilmer’s best performance ever. Watch it, then a week later when a Doors tune comes on the radio, tell me you’re not picturing Kilmer singing it.

6: Spun

This one’s a little much, but still worthy of being on this list. Not so much because it makes you want to do drugs, but more because you kind of have to if you want to keep up with it. It’s hard to explain, but when Jason Schwartzman ties his naked girlfriend to his bed, blindfolded and gagged, then cranks up the stereo (rocking some random speed-metal) and leaves her there for a couple of days, you’ll see what I mean.

7: From Hell

You’re probably wondering what this movie’s doing on the list. Have a look at this. See what I mean? P.S. The movie’s not in Spanish. I don’t know what the fuck is going on here.

8: Scarface

If I have to tell you what this movie’s about there is seriously something wrong with you. It’s a classic, obviously, but it didn’t make me want to do drugs as much as it made me want to sell them.

9: Blow

(See commentary for Scarface. The same applies here, except this one you can convince your girlfriend to watch with you because it’s kind of sad and sappy too.)

1o: Half Baked

Here’s the deal. This movie fucking sucks, and anyone who tells you otherwise is blowing smoke up your ass – big time. But smoke a joint and fast forward to the part where Danny Tanner talks about how he used to suck dick for coke. You’ll piss your pants, I’m not even joking.

MOM: “What should we get Gloria for Christmas, dear?”

DAD: “I don’t know, she has everything! What do you get a kid who has everything?”

MOM: “Oh, oh, I’ve got it! How about something that moves really fast, has razor sharp teeth and comes complete with a lethal dose of postsynaptic neurotoxins in every bite?!”

DAD: “Like a cobra?”

MOM: “Exactly like a cobra.”

DAD: “Get your purse, I’ll be in the car.”

While you were out getting lit this past Friday, Paris Hilton was getting mauled by David Letterman on national television. I’ve been watching this guy for years and I’ve never seen him make this much fun out of a guest on his show. This chick is dumber than cotton and she needs to stay the fuck out of the spotlight. Seriously though, I felt kind of bad for her when everyone was laughing…actually, no I didn’t.

Kiefer Sutherland might be fucked. After getting nailed for drinking and driving with a blood alcohol level almost double the legal limit, the 24 star’s been charged with two misdemeanor counts of driving under the influence. So what? He’s famous so he’ll probably get a slap on the wrist right? Well, it’s hard to say since the judge that’s hearing his case is none other than Judge Michael Sauer - the same dude who tossed Paris in the can for driving with a suspended license.

According to People.com, if he gets convicted he faces up to one year in county jail, a $1,000 fine, plus an additional six months if a judge deems he violated probation (he got nailed in ‘04 for DUI too).

I hope they let him off, but if they don’t I’m sure he can handle it - he’s Jack motherfucking Bauer after all.

This has got to be the most jaw-dropping work I have ever seen! That’s how you know a good artist, by the way; when you see their work for the first time and you don’t even know what to say. All you can do is leer at their masterpieces like a weirdo on the subway. Michael Hussar is exactly that, although judging by the twisted and paranoid images he creates, he’s likely to be that weirdo staring at you on the subway.

California-bred, Hussar has been heavy into L.A.’s lowbrow scene for as long as he could wield a brush. He used to teach painting, but now he prefers to spend his time producing his own work. You may have seen him on the September 18th episode of L.A. Ink. Visit TLC online to catch the full episode.

Check out more at Hussar’s official site: www.michaelhussar.biz

…and his MySpace profile.

Tonight, every The Hills-obsessed girl in the the Greater Toronto Area lined up to see the rich and famous Mr. Brody Jenner make his big appearance at Toronto’s Embassy nightclub. After a few hours of ballin’, Mr. Jenner racked up a $2,300 tab and decided that he’s “too famous to have to pay.”

“Back off, or I’ll call my dad’s lawyer,” was what he said once surrounded by a half a dozen bouncers demanding that he clear up his tab.

The club paid Brody an undisclosed amount of money for his appearance in addition to a pre-determined bar allowance that would be covered by the establishment. Unfortunately, he exceeded his limit and didn’t have enough cash to settle up the bill.

Fucking rich kids!

Inspired to rock the sickest Halloween costume this year, I embarked on an online escapade to see if I could find someone somewhere that sells replicas of the Daft Punk helmets.  My search was unsuccessful…sort of.

I was tracked down the company that designed the actual ones that Guy-Manuel and Thomas wear and apparently, all they need is one year, $65 G’s and permission from the band and they’ll make a shiny new set made just for me!

…so I’m thinking I might go as a pirate or something.  Whatever.

For those who are interested, here’s how they’re made:

1. A model shop cast the face of the musician. This was used to create a bust which was used as a template for the design.
2. The next step was to modify a motorcycle helmet. The body was cut away to allow for cables and electronics. Two pin holes were provided so the wearer could see out.
3. Clay models were created for all the unique parts. This included a back pack and an arm band controller.
4. Electronic displays were designed using prototype PC board materials.
5. The LED display panels were assembled by placing each LED one-by-one into a plastic sheet and glued into place. Each LED required three feet of wiring to connect it to power and control circuitry. The finished panel was bolted to the helmet frame.
6. The LED cabling was routed around the “ears” of the helmet and out the back. The helmet cables led down to the backpack where the main controller board was located.
7. The system was originally powered by batteries, but this was later switched over to a power cord system.
8. The control keypad on the armband was a custom manufactured PC board.
9. Exterior plastic molding and finishing materials were custom manufactured by a special effects studio to complete the helmet. Once these pieces were added, the helmet details were touched up with paint.